WASHINGTON, D.C. - Biden made his first official call to Chinese President Xi Jinping yesterday, and ordered a Kung Pao Chicken #5 with fried rice and two egg rolls.
"Listen here, Xi -- I ain't messing around here," said Biden. "I wanna Kung Pao and General Tso's. And give me some fried rice with a couple of those deep-fried cabbage-twinkies with the ducktail sauce."
Biden's press secretary later confirmed the call with China was a "robust" discussion about foreign trade and human rights, but she did not go into further detail.
Anonymous sources inside the White House say Biden is frustrated after waiting for over 12 hours for his order to show up, promising to "never order from China again."
"I'll never let China eat my lunch!" Biden later was heard saying. The U.S. Ambassador to China has announced Biden will be placing high tariffs on fortune cookies until he gets all the food he ordered-- or a full refund.