U.S. — Procter & Gamble announced a new breakthrough in male grooming products on Friday with the introduction of Old Spice Libertarian-Strength Deodorant.
Old Spice Libertarian-Strength Deodorant uses a special formula specifically designed to fight odor at its source: libertarians.
"With our new Libertarian-Strength product, libertarians will smell so good they may even start to question their commitment to individual liberty and private property," said Procter & Gamble CEO Bob Gamble. "The free market has never smelled so good."
Early sales for Old Spice Libertarian-Strength Deodorant were quite strong, with a majority coming from New Hampshire. Libertarians were reportedly eager to get their hands on the product given they have no intention of ever showering.
"I smell almost like a normal human being," said Randall Yeats, a member of the Free State Project. "Maybe now I can get a real job."
Libertarian-leaning politicians are also getting in on the action. Senator Rand Paul was said to be a big fan, even though he showers. "I want to stress again to your readers that I do shower," Paul said. "No, seriously."
At publishing time, Old Spice Libertarian-Strength Deodorant had been recalled after a non-libertarian used the product and it melted off their skin.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
