WASHINGTON, D.C.—Former president Barack Obama called the White House today to personally thank Donald Trump for taking the blame for a recently circulated set of photos of immigrant children detained at the border that actually depicted the consequences of immigration policies in place during Obama’s tenure.
Obama was concerned that people on Twitter, Facebook, and other social media platforms might make the connection that many of the photos, facts, and figures people were upset about were from the years when he was president.
“I was really nervous the lid was gonna blow off that whole thing,” Obama admitted. When Obama realized that he was in the clear, and that Trump would be receiving the full brunt of the online outrage and blame for policies that had gone completely ignored during his own presidency, the former leader of the free world decided some thanks were in order.
The friendly phone call was a few minutes long, and consisted of light banter and finally an expression of deep gratitude on Obama’s part, as he could continue being a shining star for the media and still pretend to have had “zero scandals” during his presidency.
Before the call ended, Obama gave Trump a helpful list of other potential landmines from his presidency that went under the media’s radar that he might end up paying for as well. “They really liked me, as you know,” Obama said, explaining that because he was so adored by the media, he got away with a lot. “Like, it was crazy. I was bombing these guys, changing laws willy-nilly, tearing these families apart, and they’re like ‘Barack, what’s your favorite song?’ ‘What’s your favorite ice cream?’ ‘What’s it like being basically Jesus?’”
“All I’m saying is be careful, Don. They might end up pinning Fast and Furious on you. I’ll owe you big time for that one,” Obama added.
Trump reportedly asked Obama how his new “Netflix channel thing” was going, but Obama said that was all highly confidential at the moment. The president and the former president traded a few more kind words before Trump was dragged away to another meeting. “Ugh. I gotta go. I need to head off some FBI guys who are snooping around the office again,” Trump said.