Noah Fined By HOA For Parking Boat In Driveway

Scripture · May 26, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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MESOPOTAMIA — Local righteous man Noah was the recipient of a hefty fine from his HOA today over parking a large boat in the middle of his driveway.

Despite multiple warnings from Kitra, the HOA President, Noah insisted that "he's not done with it" and has refused to move the boat in question.

"This is a clear violation of Section three, Article five of the HOA agreement," said Kitra. "We have been more than lenient about the construction materials, and have even turned a blind eye to all the stray animals hanging about. But not only have you refused to move the boat, you just keep making the eyesore bigger. It's hurting the property value of everyone in the neighborhood, and we won't stand for it."

Sources said that several neighbors had filed complaints with the HOA, feeling the boat in Noah's yard to be "trashy" and "too hillbilly." "It's not even a functional boat," stated a neighbor on condition of anonymity. "Noah keeps saying he's 'working on it,' but it's been years now, and that thing is nowhere near floating. Come on, man."

At publishing time, Noah had tried explaining that it was really a ship and not a boat, to no avail.

Babylon Bee subscriber Blender of Daves contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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