PARIS — To accommodate modern French sensibilities, the NFL has announced that their first ever game to take place in Paris will include special endzone messaging by having "Allahu Akbar" painted onto the field.
While not unusual for the NFL to paint social justice-oriented political messages into the endzone, such as "Inspire Change," "End Racism," and "Vote," this will be their first overtly religious message. The upcoming game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the New Orleans Saints will be the first time the NFL has played a game Paris, so they wanted the message to be more suitable for the occasion.
"We really want to make a good impression on our hosts," said NFL spokesperson Roger Manning. "They go nuts for anything about Allah over there, so we think this will be met with a very positive reception. Also, we don't want to get bombed by terrorists."
Security questions have been raised about holding an NFL game in Paris while the city is on fire, but officials have assured the NFL that the protests are just about student affordability concerns and nothing else.
A survey of Parisians indicated that 83% of respondents believe the NFL's "Allahu Akbar" message will be a unifying, uplifting statement that will remind France what being French is all about.
At publishing time, the NFL was installing minarets atop the stadium to accommodate the Adhan, or the Muslim call to prayer, during the very French halftime show.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
