Newbie Disc Golfer Not Even High
Sports · Sep 10, 2022 ·

WICHITA FALLS, TX — Local man Matthew King showed up to a local disc golf course not even remotely stoned, like a total amateur.

"Matthew was moving um, way fast, on his legs." said disc golf aficionado Steve Porter. "I don't think he knows all the, uh, unwritten rules yet. Hey Matt! Are you cool to drive?"

Mr. King had always enjoyed tossing a frisbee, but had never quite understood the draw of disc golf. "I just didn't know what was so great about chasing your own frisbee, but some of my buddies at work were raving about it," said Mr. King. "So I got a couple of discs and went to a course to try it out. I don't know what kind of fertilizer they use, but the course had a really unique smell! All the other disc golfers were super friendly. Very chill atmosphere."

Mr. Porter said he noted Mr. King was an obvious first-timer from the moment he began. "You can always pick out the newbies," said Mr. Porter. "They don't carry folding chairs for smoke breaks, and they actually keep track of their strokes. Plus, he was drinking water. Total bush-league."

At publishing time, Mr. King had decided to try rock climbing, and found it very odd that he once again smelled that same fertilizer near the bouldering wall.

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