New Google Homepage Honors Life Of Sharpshooter Thomas Matthew Crooks
Tech · Jul 29, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Continuing its tradition of utilizing artwork on its home page to commemorate significant historic individuals, Google revealed that its new Google Doodle would honor the life of sharpshooter Thomas Matthew Crooks.

Following the near-assassination of former President Donald Trump, Google chose Crooks as the next recipient of its veneration as a Google Doodle as a testament to his "history-making initiative."

"He's a fascinating and complicated historical figure," said Google CEO Sundar Pichai. "Very few individuals can captivate the attention of the entire world the way Thomas Matthew Crooks did, which is why we are proud to prominently display artwork honoring his legacy. There has never been a more fitting subject for a Google Doodle."

The new Google Doodle featured Crooks holding an AR-15 in front of a moderately sloped roof.

Crooks fired multiple shots at a Trump rally in Pennsylvania, killing one attendee while wounding Trump and others in the crowd. "We won't say why he is historically notable," Pichai clarified. "We're not entirely sure that it actually happened and are censoring our search results accordingly, but we're certainly going to celebrate the guy who allegedly did what he could to save democracy. Rest in peace, our dear Thomas Matthew Crooks. You have blazed an inspiring trail in a very specific way by attempting to do something. Don't ask me what, though, because I'm not going to say."

At publishing time, Google had confirmed next week's homepage doodle will feature a loving tribute to former Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle.


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