New Extreme Polling Location Lets Trump Fans Crawl Over Actual Broken Glass To Vote
Politics

U.S.—Many enthusiastic Trump supporters have claimed they would crawl across broken glass to vote for their beloved candidate. For the first time ever, some polling locations are providing an "extreme voting experience" allowing die-hard Trump voters to do it for real.

In several locations and for one day only, there will be voting lines strewn with broken glass, sharp metal, and other deadly obstacles, giving MAGA enthusiasts the opportunity to prove their fealty to Trump by crawling through it on their way to the voting machine.

"I've never been this excited to vote for a president," said Clint Dungleheimer, a local avid Trump supporter. "Regular voting is for sissies! I always thought it was a little too easy. Now I can crawl through literal shards of sharp glass to show what a patriot I am!"

Election officials confirmed that the extreme voting will not count any more than regular voting, but will give Trump voters the satisfaction of overcoming obstacles for their favorite candidate and some good scars they will be able to show their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. 

Some other polling locations are finding innovative ways to cater to voters as well. In an outreach to Democrat voters, some locations will provide soothing music and binkies to everyone in line.  

There are 37 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.