U.S. - In a moment of existential dread, the nation's podcast hosts all suddenly realized that all they do is bring on other podcast hosts and interview them about each other's podcasts. All 70,827,441 podcast hosts across the country came to the frightening realization after they went through another week having on another podcast host who came on their podcast to promote their other podcast, which mostly consists of interviewing other podcast hosts about their podcasts. "Wait a minute - all we're doing is having on other podcast hosts, who then tell us about their podcasts," thought Kyle Mann of The Babylon Bee Podcast. "And then, on their podcasts, they just interview other people about their podcasts. Such is life - a circle that is bound, fixed in size, perfect and infinite and beautiful but forever cycling inward on itself - never expanding, never coming to a point. This is the great dance of life, eternally round and equally cruel." He then snapped out of it to make a joke about homeschooled kids. At publishing time, sources had confirmed that the only people who listen to these podcasts are other podcast hosts who are doing research on their podcast guests so they can interview them on their podcasts about their guests' podcasts. Etc.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
