Politics
Mourners Honor RBG With Emotional 21-Molotov-Cocktail Salute

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Mourners gathered across the country this week to honor the life of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Outside the Supreme Court, fans of the late RBG conducted a stirring, emotional memorial ceremony that ended with a beautiful 21-Molotov Cocktail Salute.

"This is our way of honoring our great progressive Justice Ginsburg," said part-time Antifa arsonist Ron Meechan. "We hope that she is watching us from above as we torch this 7-Eleven in her honor. Blessed be her name." 

Seven shabby figures then stumbled into a line as a nearby comrade played Lady Gaga's "I Was Born This Way" solemnly on a bugle. Each of them carried three glass bottles filled with gasoline and urine.

"Ready!" yelled out another comrade. "FIRE!"

"FIRE!"

"FIRE!"

All observers bowed their heads and removed their helmets, ski masks, and Budenovkas for a moment of silence. As they watched the 7-Eleven burn to the ground, they said a silent prayer to no one before joining hands and singing Jon Lennon's "Imagine."

A few short moments later, police and firefighters arrived to extinguish the blaze in honor of RBG.

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