MILWAUKEE, WI — Sources revealed that Stephany Sumner, 37, was entirely unable to restrain herself from talking about how much she loved coffee after taking a sip of chocolate milk with a single drop of espresso in it.
According to witnesses, Sumner closed her eyes and sighed with pure joy as she relished the sweet, creamy taste of real chocolate milk with the slightest hint of espresso coffee added to it.
"I can't drink too much of it, or else the caffeine keeps me up at night," said Sumner. "But I love how a nice cup of coffee keeps me energized and going throughout long days. And I just love the smell and the taste, you know? A little bit bitter, for sure, but still so good."
Isaiah Sumner, who has been married to Stephany for 15 years, said he hoped his wife would one day be able to appreciate actual coffee.
"One day, she's going to wake up and find that there's a world outside the Venti Caramel Crunch Frappuccino with a caramel-lined cup, double espresso shot, 5 pumps vanilla, 3 pumps caramel, 3 pumps dark caramel, 5 pumps white mocha, 5 scoops vanilla bean powder, almond milk, double-blended, light whip, extra caramel drizzle, extra cookie crumble, and extra caramel crunch toppings," Isaiah said mournfully. "That'll be a great day."
At publishing time, Stephany was overheard telling friends that she also loves doing intense strength training at her local Pilates class.
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