DENVER, CO — A local man attracted a surprising amount of attention in recent weeks for being the last remaining person in Denver who isn't homeless.
As the last person in Denver not living on the street, Carl Hansen lives a privileged life. While the rest of the people of Denver sleep in alleys and underneath overpasses, Hansen sleeps alone in a comfortable bed he paid for himself.
But if you ask Hansen about his unique ability to remain "homed," he will only answer with a shrug.
"It's hard out there for the people of Denver. Literally everyone else is homeless, but not me," he said. "I don't really know what it is. It might be the fact I have a job and don't do drugs — but it could just be dumb luck."
Of course, it's not all sunshine and roses being the only housed person in a city of transients. Every day Hansen is out on the streets, he's nearly mauled to death by groping hands begging for anything to support their drug or alcohol habits. Unfortunately, the homeless simply have no one else to go to for help.
City officials, themselves also homeless, were confounded by Hansen's success and formed a committee of other homeless people to study him. "I just wish we could understand why Carl isn't homeless," one homeless man said as he followed Hansen to his job at an office building in nearby Aurora.
Though it's been difficult living in Denver, Hansen said he has no plans to move. "I don't know what these people would do without me. I think I'm the only one paying taxes, and without me, the entire city would collapse."
At publishing time, the homeless mayor of Denver had asked Hansen to fully fund the city's budget.
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