CANCUN—Ted Cruz is really ignorant of how to be a politician. The guy traveled during a crisis in his state, and he isn't even a Democrat.
What an idiot!
The media informed Cruz of his faux pas as soon as he landed in the Yucatán Peninsula, shouting at him that he's not allowed to travel during a crisis, since he has an "R" next to his name.
"You can only get away with traveling during a crisis if you specifically tell people to stay home and then don't stay home yourself!" screamed a CNN journalist on the scene as Cruz landed. "Oh, and of course, you have to be a liberal!"
A Univision reporter shouted, "Ay, Caramba!" which is reportedly a Spanish phrase meaning, "Your hypocrisy is unforgivable because you are a Republican, you moron!"
"Well, y'all, I shore am sorry," Cruz said from his resort in sunny Cancun. "I hadn't realized I would only get a pass for this if I was a liberal. Boy, howdy, am I in hot stew now, ya hear?"
At publishing time, Cruz had flown back to Texas and promised to do better, or at least to switch parties before he traveled during a crisis next time.