U.S. — Fast food giant McDonald's unveiled the latest addition to its menu today, unveiling the all-new Ozempic McFlurry.
Made with semaglutide crushed and mixed into the creamy soft-serve vanilla goodness, the new Ozempic McFlurry was sure to quickly become a fan favorite.
"Forget injections. Grab the new Ozempic McFlurry, made with real bits of Ozempic. I'm lovin' it!" declared McDonald's new ad spot. "Ba-da-ba-ba-baaa, Ozeeempic."
Customers were already ordering the new McFlurry in droves, with the chilled treat now the number one item on McDonald's menu. "I used to hate having to give myself Ozempic injections. Now, I get to eat it pulverized into delicious soft serve ice cream," said local customer Jeannie Day. "I can down one McFlurry, and my appetite is suppressed for the rest of the day. I'm on a McFlurry-only diet and somehow losing weight. Thanks, McDonald's!"
At publishing time, McDonald's had introduced another new item to its menu: "Insulin Nuggets".
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
