MCDONALDLAND — Beloved politician and civil servant Mayor McCheese has won reelection as Mayor of McDonaldland for an astounding 60th consecutive term.
The win came in a landslide for McCheese, who gave his acceptance speech from inside McDonaldland Town Hall.
"My fellow McDonaldlanders, I thank you for your continued support," McCheese said. "From Apple Pie Orchards to Grimace Island, you showed up, you voted, and you made your voices heard. Thank you, from the bottom of my pickle heart."
Mayor McCheese faced opponent The Hamburglar, who ran on a platform of redistributing all of McDonaldland's hamburgers.
"I admit defeat, but I'm not done yet," The Hamburglar told his supporters. "I'll be back next year, following around Ronald McDonald, trying to steal his precious hamburgers. Do not lose hope, my minions."
McCheese ran on a platform of crime reduction and a plan to clean up Filet-o-Fish Lake, a landmark many have said has needed repair for years. He also pledged to provide a solution to the city's growing population of homeless Fry Guys.
"This is a great day for McDonaldland," McCheese supporter Birdie the Early Bird said. "My kids and I welcome his tough-on-crime positions and delicious, fresh ingredients approach to governance."
At publishing time, McDonaldland Secret Service could be seen jumping in front of the mayor after someone tried to take a bite of his head.
What happens when a politically divided family sit down for a "peaceful" dinner?
