Mary Asks Joseph If They Can Stop By Magnolia Silos On Way To Bethlehem
Church · Mar 27, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

NAZARETH — Newly discovered scrolls have revealed new details regarding Mary and Joseph's fateful trip to Bethlehem to be registered by the Roman Empire. According to new accounts, the mother of Jesus pestered Joseph several times during the days-long trip about stopping to see the Magnolia silos made famous by Chip and Joanna Gaines.

"Honey you'd love it! We could get so many adorable things for the baby's room!" said Mary to her betrothed. "And they even have stuff for men! Like charming barrels full of baseballs and whiskey-scented matchboxes and stuff like that! PLEEEAAASSEEEE can we go?"

The ancient text goes on to recount Joseph's many attempts to turn down Mary's requests with several comments about how they needed to "make good time." Mary then got really silent for several hours, causing a defeated Joseph to give in and take a time-consuming detour to visit the silos.

Scholars now believe the couple was forced to sleep in a stable in Bethlehem after the detour caused them to lose their hotel reservation.


When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.