HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Local man Erik Brettson abandoned his entire worldview Friday after his liberal friend, Chad Michaels III, reminded him that we are currently living in the current year that it currently is.
Though he had researched his positions thoroughly, incorporating his personal beliefs, his core values, and his experiences into his unique perspective of the world and humanity, Brettson saw it all come crashing down the moment he learned that it is the current year.
The man had reportedly commented on a current event. Michaels was quick to respond with the words that would forever shift Brettson's paradigm: "Yea, but it is the current year."
"Oh, wow. I never thought of that before. Huh," he said as Michaels pointed to the date on his iPhone's calendar app. "I was pretty secure in my beliefs, but I hadn't considered whether or not my belief system would be valid in this year. I know it was OK last year, but I guess I forgot to factor in the fact that this year was rapidly approaching."
"I've got a lot of thinking to do," he added as he rushed home to burn all of his favorite political, religious, and philosophical books and change his podcast subscriptions to all far-left thinkers.