COLUMBIA, SC — Watching in awe as Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket exploded in spectacular fashion, local man Dennis Rogers was glad to finally see what his wife's Amazon purchases had funded.
As plumes of black smoke billowed into the air, Rogers marveled at what all of those boxes on the porch had finally added up to.
"Wow. That… was a lot of handheld slushie makers that just went up in flames," said Rogers. "All of that moisturizing cream - boom! Pretty epic. It's nice to really have a clear visual of where our money went. Hey, babe! Come check out this explosion you paid for."
Husbands across the nation joined Rogers in surveying the massive launch pad detonation, watching as $150 million worth of their wives' Amazon acquisitions went up in a glorious fireball. "We all made this happen, together," said Rogers, sharing the video with his friend Brad. "It's kind of cool thinking about how all our wives worked together to put a bunch of fuel in a rocket and blow it up. It's a real communal accomplishment."
At publishing time, Rogers' wife had gotten back to work helping to contribute to the next explosive catastrophe.
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