U.S. — A lawsuit brought by former members of Lizzo's backup dance team is alleging the corpulent singer terrorized them by eating them and their entire families.
"I showed up to work late one day, and Lizzo unhinged her jaw and swallowed me whole like a boa constrictor," said one emotional woman in a statement. "Then she dipped all my friends and loved ones in chocolate and ate them all. It was horrible!"
Plaintiffs in the case are also accusing Lizzo of creating a hostile work environment in which she fat-shamed them, sexually abused them, and sometimes played her flute. "No one should have to endure such torture in order to work for a massive, massive, massive star like this," said the lawyer representing dancers. "Most of all, no one should have to endure being consumed by Lizzo."
Lizzo reacted to the lawsuit in a statement accusing her dancers of shaming her for abusing them. "Abuse-shaming is not ok," she said.
At publishing time, the case was put on hold after Lizzo ate her entire legal team.
DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions