LOS ANGELES, CA—After yesterday's game against the Phoenix Suns, LeBron James suddenly came out and announced he and the Lakers are both boycotting the playoffs in the name of social justice.
"I talked to the guys, and we all agreed: the playoffs are racist and white supremacist, and we won't be going this year," James said during a post-game press conference. "I just think it's really problematic that all these other teams are supporting the playoffs despite my brave stand for social justice."
"The Lakers are I are making this courageous stand here, and it's hard to believe so many other teams are participating in the playoffs."
"But didn't you guys just, like, get eliminated from the playoffs? How is this a stand for social justice?" asked one reporter. James immediately flopped on the ground and screamed, claiming the reporter had punched him in the face. She was removed from the room by referees.
James then popped back up and clarified that he won't rule out going next year, should the NBA address all the issues of racism and white supremacy, and also should his team actually make the playoffs.