VALHALLA, NY — In what the media hailed as the most prestigious award announcement of the season, Vice President Kamala Harris was named "Person of the Year" by Wine Enthusiast magazine.
The annual honor, given to a person to recognize outstanding achievement in wine consumption, was voted unanimously to be awarded to Harris after the awe-inspiring work she did throughout 2024 to promote and exemplify the enjoyment of wine.
"She blew every other candidate out of the water," said Jacqueline Strum, the magazine's editor and publisher. "Each year, we look for the person who the public would think of most synonymously with wine. While there is typically a healthy debate to come up with a winner in other years, 2024 was far and away Kamala Harris's year. Her campaign speeches, the debate performance… she absolutely dominated."
Harris was honored to accept the award. "As someone who was born into a middle-class family, this is the greatest achievement of my life," she said in a video statement. "Wine Enthusiast is for enthusiasts. Enthusiasts are people who are enthusiastic. And enthusiasm is a tremendous thing. Wine is amazing, am I right? Wine is what life is all about. My life, at least. In that sense, wine is life. And life is meant to be lived with enthusiasm. And that is why I love wine. Somebody get me another bottle! HAHAHAHA!"
At publishing time, Harris had reportedly asked the magazine's staff if it was true that the award came with a lifetime supply of wine.
Flock cameras are causing everyone to freak out, so The Babylon Bee launched an investigation into Flock Safety to separate fact from fiction. Here is everything you need to know about Flock
