MOUNT TABOR — Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, listed her camping gear for sale, describing the bundle of supplies (including tent peg and hammer) as "gently used."
"Great for outdoor enthusiasts!" the listing began. "If you are looking for some great camping gear, this is the bundle for you! Fine Kenite craftsmanship. Sturdy tent with poles and pegs. Hammer included. Only gently used. Some blood stains on one tent peg. Sold as-is."
Jael posted the listing shortly after Israel scored a shocking upset over the army of Canaan. Though potential buyers had questions about the gear and why it was being made available, Jael provided assurance of the quality of the merchandise. "It's really great gear — with multiple uses!" she replied to one potential customer. "The hammer really gets the job done and the tent pegs are strong and sharp enough to go through a variety of material — dirt, rock, human skulls, you name it!"
Jael was seen quickly packing up her things and taking down her tent following the battle. "What? I'm not in a hurry!" she replied when asked about her rush. "It's not like I just killed a guy in my tent or anything, that would be ridiculous. And, no, I haven't seen General Sisera. Why?"
Dozens of potential buyers had already contacted her about the gear, with only a few people having questions about the blood stains.
At publishing time, though Jael was confident in the prospects of selling the camping gear, she was still struggling to build up clientele for her ear-piercing business.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
