RAWLINS, WY — While staring at millions of acres of desolate sagebrush, local woman Michelle Clemmens absent-mindedly remarked how easy it would be to dispose of a human corpse out there.
"Hm. Over there would be good," Clemmens murmured softly to no one in particular while gazing at the barren horizon. "Or over that ridge. No one would ever, ever find the body there. It's so remote. So easy to get away with murder."
Clemmens' husband, Dan, glanced over from the driver's seat with mounting concern. "Sorry, babe, you were kind of whispering there. It almost sounded like you said something about a dead body?" he asked. "May have just been the engine noise. Ha. So, what were you saying?"
"Oh, nothing, honey," responded Clemmens. Then after a few moments of silence, "Actually, that creek bed. No access for decades. Everyone would be long gone. All you'd need is a shovel."
At publishing time, Dan Clemmens had pulled into a crowded, well-lit Pilot Travel Center and vowed not to turn off the ignition or unbuckle his seatbelt until they reached Nebraska.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
