WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi was feeling pretty good about her decision to open an investigation inquiry into President Donald Trump. Unfortunately for her, though, the impeachment inquiry was derailed earlier today when President Trump replied with, "Can't do that, triple stamped it, no erasies."
"You're impeached," Pelosi told him in a tense meeting.
"You're impeached," Trump replied.
"You're impeached, quitsies," Pelosi said, preparing to leave as she felt she had won the argument.
But while Pelosi was playing 2D Tiddlywinks, Trump was fourteen 4D chess steps ahead of her: "You're impeached, quitsies, anti-quitsies, no startsies!" Trump said triumphantly.
This went on for some time in a scathing back-and-forth between the two grown adults.
Finally, Trump won the argument, saying, "You can't impeach me, triple stamped it, no erasies, touch blue make it true." Pelosi tried to argue the point but Trump had already put his fingers in his ears and was saying, "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA" so he could not hear her futile cries.
The Speaker of the House said she will check her agenda line items and try the next thing they had planned to impeach Trump for instead.