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We here at The Babylon Bee are marriage experts. Being considerate and helping your wife around the house is key to a healthy marriage-- and it doesn't even have to be hard work! We drew from decades of combined marriage experience to compile a list of easy ways to help your wife out.
1. Rinse a dish and leave it near the sink: Your lady will swoon when she sees how considerate you are! For bonus points, place the dish in the sink so she can easily put it in the dishwasher later.
2. Place excess trash in an organized pile near the trash can until she takes it out: Little things to make her life easier go such a long way!
3. Avoid the toilet seat debate by peeing in the sink: Lifehack!
4. Never shower so she'll have fewer towels to fold: Also, if you never wear socks, you'll never get in trouble for not throwing them in the hamper.
5. Helpfully gather all the dirty clothes and passive-aggressively place them in front of the washer: Whatever you do, DON'T actually put them in the washer. You'll probably do it wrong.
6. Leave her helpful instructions on sticky notes around the house so she'll know how to do things properly: You can add little hearts and "XOXOXO" for extra romance.
7. Say helpful phrases like "My mom didn't do it that way" when she's cleaning: Wives love to learn new things from their mothers-in-law. What a great way to pass down helpful knowledge!
8. Send her pictures of the messes around the house while she's away so she can mentally prepare for the tasks ahead of her: This selfless act will help her stay mentally organized. It's the least you can do.
9. Start the lawnmower for her: Use your big man strength to start the mower so she has more energy to mow the lawn. If you really want to drive her crazy, roll up your sleeves so she sees your big arms while you crank the engine.
10. Pick up your feet while playing Xbox so she can vacuum under them: Invest in your marriage and do it without being asked!
11. Place all the sandwich ingredients together on the counter to cut down on her lunch-making time: For extra helpfulness, leave another sticky note to help her make it correctly.
12. Have many children so they can help around the house: And if you're a Mormon, you can also take a second wife to help your first wife with the chores!
There you have it! Now go and invest in your marriage!
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