Horrified Baptist Parents Discover ‘Fortnite’ Contains Dancing

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK—Local Baptist parents Ruth and Frank Clyburn try to be lenient with their children, allowing them to watch certain secular movies and play a wide selection of video games, stating that they want their kids to learn to take responsibility for the entertainment they consume as the children learn to exercise discernment.

But the Clyburns immediately banned Fortnite from their house upon discovering that the battle royale video game contains a wide variety of dance moves for characters to use. Frank Clyburn reportedly walked in on his son playing the game, and upon seeing the boy execute the Disco Fever emote, he gasped in horror. After recovering from his shock, he had the boy uninstall the game right away and wipe his hard drive, just to be safe.

“We knew that the game was a winner-take-all deathmatch. We were OK with all the shooting and violence,” an emotional Clyburn said in an interview. “But once we saw the dance emotes, we knew there was no place for this kind of a depraved video game under our roof.”

“There were kids… dabbing!” he cried before breaking down into sobs.

At publishing time, the Clyburns had proudly gifted their child a copy of Bible Adventures for the NES as a “Christ-centered alternative.”