EAST LONGMEADOW, MA — Congregants said Pastor Michael Boldman set a great example of honesty at Fruit of the Cross Church, where he reportedly bragged about his moderately attractive wife.
"I thank you, Lord, for blessing me with a moderately attractive wife who gave me three pretty good kids," Boldman said, lifting his family up in prayer. "She's not supermodel hot, but I like her."
He added, "My cup may not runneth over, but it's certainly mostly full. More than halfway, at least."
According to Boldman, honesty is one of the most important qualities a Christian can have, and he's not going to throw that away just to make his wife happy. "If I tell everyone she's smoking hot, that would be a blatant lie," he said. "It would ruin my witness for the gospel."
While church attendance diminishes nationwide, the congregation at Fruit of the Cross Church has grown in number, with many people attributing it to Pastor Boldman's trustworthiness.
"Every church has a pastor bragging about their smoking hot wife," said Matt Dixon. "But I've seen them. They're totally mid, at best. That's how I know Pastor Boldman speaks the truth."
Other members of the church credited the pastor's blunt honesty with changing their lives.
"Pastor Boldman implicitly putting down his wife showed me the way to Christ," said James Anders. "God truly uses the 'mid' of the world to shame the beautiful."
At publishing time, Pastor Boldman's wife had reportedly organized a group of ladies at the church to get revenge by sabotaging their casseroles at the next potluck afterglow luncheon.
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