NEW YORK — The Hamas terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for the results of last night's mayoral primary in New York City.
"Our glorious freedom fighters have delivered an attack on New York City that the Great Satan will not soon forget," stated Hamas spokesman Abu Obaida. "We take responsibility for the heroic operation that has begun the city's deliverance to Allah. The intifada has been globalized."
Hamas went on to state that last night's primary was the first wave of assaults directed at destroying American cities and paving the way for attacks on the Jewish community. "We shall make New York City crumble," said Obaida, waving his AK-47. "Hamas will unleash government-controlled grocery stores, free injection sites, and many other powerful assaults. No one will be able to withstand us, Allah be praised!"
At publishing time, Hamas had also claimed responsibility for the Tucker Carlson podcast.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
