MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - Google spokespeople have admitted that your phone is always tracking you, even if you decide to leave it at home to get away from the grid.

Smartphones with Google services are programmed to track their users by any means necessary, regardless of whether or not the user opted out of location tracking or even left the phone behind.

Users of Google's mobile apps have long suspected that their phones are stalking them down seedy alleys and mist-covered docks in the middle of the night, even when they purposefully lock the device in a drawer so Google won't know where they are. People began to grow concerned when they'd see their Android phone or iPhone tailing them down city streets or peering in at them when they go somewhere they'd rather not inform Google about.

"Yes, even if you check the box to deactivate location tracking, our algorithm will cause your phone to slip out the door and track you down no matter where you go," said Google Location Services head developer Brandon Fleming. "It's completely harmless: just a little bit of programming that helps Google know where you are at all times in order to improve the user experience."

"After all, what do you have to hide?" he added.