MENLO PARK, CA—Stating that the functionality was being underused by the demographic, a representative for popular social network Facebook issued a reminder Friday to romantically involved couples using the site that the private messaging feature still exists.
Speaking at a press conference, a representative for the network calmly pointed out that the site does contain functionality to send a message that no one else is forced to see in their timeline.
“We just want to remind all couples out there that you CAN message your significant other privately, rather than posting a sickly sweet message on their public timeline,” the Facebook representative said. “So many of you guys are posting gag-inducing saccharine missives on your husband or wife’s wall where everyone can see it, we just weren’t sure that you all remembered that you can message in private.”
The representative carefully demonstrated how romantic couples can click on their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife in the “Contacts” tab and compose a message saying whatever sweet nothings they want, without anyone else having to see it.
At publishing time, Facebook had also issued a reminder to workout enthusiasts that their workouts will still be effective, even if they don’t check in at the gym every day.