Home > Politics > Eminem Announces He Will Decline Chief Of Staff Position Should Trump Sele...
Politics U.S.
Eminem Announces He Will Decline Chief Of Staff Position Should Trump Select Him

CLINTON TOWNSHIP, MI—Speaking in a recorded message to his fans, Eminem confirmed Friday that he will decline President Trump's invitation to serve as his chief of staff, should Trump ask him.

"After much deliberation and introspection on my part, I am taking myself out of the running for Trump's chief of staff," the rapper said. He cited among his reasons for declining any future invitation the fact that "Trump is a [expletive] little [expletive] [expletive] [expletive] whose [expletive] little [expletive] [expletive] still standing here screaming [expletive] the free world."

"Respectfully, I must decline," he concluded.

At publishing time, Bette Midler, Stephen King, and Hillary Clinton had all issued announcements that they too would be declining any invitation from Trump to serve as his chief of staff.

Breaking: Paypal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.