AUSTIN, TX — Tesla, Inc. added a van to its lineup of popular electric vehicles Monday with the unveiling of the new Model H. The full-size van, also known as The Homeschooler, is capable of fitting all nine of Elon Musk's children inside without sacrificing comfort.
"The Model H will be a boon to large families looking to solve our population problem and bring us back to the minimum replacement baseline," said founder and CEO Elon Musk. "Other companies sacrifice total range when developing electric vans because of the weight involved. There's too much strain put on the battery. Fortunately, I am a genius."
Musk demonstrated the innovative new vehicle at the Austin Auto Show by cramming his family inside. "And there's room for even more kids," he said. "Because you never know."
Tesla's Model H Homeschooler van is expected to retail for $143,000 and will include special upgraded configuration options for Catholics and Mormons.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
