LOS ANGELES, CA — The Los Angeles Dodgers were hoping to attract large crowds at tonight's game against the Washington Nationals by offering a limited edition MS-13 bobblehead to commemorate the recent L.A. anti-ICE riots.
A social media ad for the event read, "¡Hola! Don't miss MS-13 Bobblehead Night at Dodger Stadium on 7/20 presented by the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights (CHIRLA)! The first 2,000 undocumented migrants get their very own MS-13 Bobblehead! ¡Ay, caramba!"
The limited edition MS-13 bobblehead features a Latinx cis-male with face tattoos and a penchant for vandalism. The figurine wears an unbuttoned Dodgers jersey to show off his abs and carries a Glock 19 for use in fighting back against colonizers. The prized item is also made of extra-flammable material, so it can double as a convenient Molotov cocktail substitute when needed.
To receive a free Limited Edition MS-13 Bobblehead, fans must provide proof that they are not American citizens. Dodgers security had reportedly promised to keep ICE agents far from the event so that undocumented migrants could enjoy their MS-13 bobbleheads in peace while watching the game. Natural-born citizens can purchase their own bobbleheads in the Dodgers gift shop for the low price of $574.93.
At publishing time, the Dodgers had also announced that Saturday night's game would feature a giveaway of free cinder block chunks to the first 15,000 fans so they could have something to throw at ICE agents on their way home.
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