WASHINGTON, D.C. - Amid political bickering over a potential economic relief package, Democrats warned Americans that the stimulus bill would stimulate the economy.
"This stimulus bill might stimulate the economy -- which would hurt our chances to stop the bad orange man," said Senator Chuck Schumer. "We can't overstate how much damage this would do to our 2020 campaign. The last thing we need is a strong economy going into November."
"This stimulus package is horrifying. It specifically includes funding to stimulate Trump's economy, and we can't have that."
"We cannot pass it to find out what is in it -- then we might accidentally increase Trump's chance of reelection," said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. "We must move slowly and cautiously here."
Upon reading part of the bill, Democratic leaders were confused to learn that it would give money back to taxpayers instead of taking it away. "Is that even legal?"