WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to several statements to the press, Democrats are outraged by the unprecedented political prosecutions of people not named Donald Trump.
The latest statements of outrage came after the Department of Justice announced criminal charges against Former FBI Director James Comey, who is not named Donald Trump. Several other politicians and bureaucrats, also not named Donald Trump, have also been referred for criminal charges for crimes they may have committed and Democrats say that is a big problem.
"The Department of Justice has been hijacked," said U.S. Representative Monica McIver, who has been charged with forcibly impeding a federal officer at an immigration detention facility. "This is the unprecedented weaponization of the Department of Justice against the President's own political enemies, diverting the department from its true mission which is to go after our political enemy named Donald Trump."
"Democracy dies when the Department of Justice can prosecute Democrats for crimes," warned U.S. Senator Adam Schiff, who is being investigated under suspicion of committing mortgage fraud. "Our name literally means we believe in Democracy. The President is weaponizing the Justice system to attack Democracy!"
At publishing time, Democrats had also unequivocally condemned political assassinations of all people not named Charlie Kirk.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
