Democrats Continue Long-Standing Tradition Of Large Whites-Only Gatherings
Politics · Jul 30, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — Democrats continued their long-standing tradition of holding whites-only gatherings this week with the new "White Dudes for Harris" campaign.

The Zoom call, featuring prominent politicians and celebrities, upheld the Democratic Party's proud heritage of gathering a large group of white men together to talk about black people just like the party did for decades with the Ku Klux Klan and other whites-only meetings.

"We're Democrats. It's what we do," said angry white man David Hogg. "We'd be remiss if we didn't seek to carry on the age-old Democratic Party tradition of having meetings that were only for white males. It's literally the foundation that this party was built upon, so it's our duty as modern-day Democrats to maintain the values that everyone has come to associate with us — virulent divisiveness that separates everyone into different warring groups. We love it."

Other participants in the "White Dudes for Harris" call echoed Hogg's sentiments. "What kind of Democrats would we be if we didn't have white-guys-only meetings?" asked actor Mark Hamill. "Dividing the country into different groups based on skin color has been the hallmark of the Democratic Party since its inception. We're proud to carry on the tradition of other whites-only Democrat groups."

At publishing time, the "White Dudes for Harris" group announced plans to issue new uniforms to its members, featuring easily identifiable white robes, masks, and pointy hats.


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