U.S. — In the wake of the controversy stirred up by former President Donald Trump's use of the word "bloodbath," Democrats issued a statement to clarify that they're OK with a bloodbath as long as it's just from killing unborn children.
"We don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Not all bloodbaths are necessarily bad," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "While we take exception to Donald Trump's shocking and horrifying use of the term ‘bloodbath,' we are absolutely on board with keeping the bloodbath of murdering unborn infants going in perpetuity. The bloodbath of infanticide is, in fact, the lifeblood of our party."
Planned Parenthood also released a statement, thanking Democrats for the important clarification.
When reached for comment, the White House confirmed that maintaining the abortion industry and making the practice more widely accepted and available was an appropriate form of bloodbath. "Let's be clear," said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is black and gay. "This administration only supports one type of bloodbath. Baby bloodbath. The blood of babies. We do not condone any other type of bloodbath, such as an electoral bloodbath where we lose the election in November. That is not ok. Baby bloodbaths where we kill millions and millions of unborn babies, however, are just fine. Thank you."
At publishing time, the administration had made good on its word by arresting more pro-life activists for blocking the entrance to another bloodbath.
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