ALBANY, NY—Amid calls for his resignation, embattled New York Governor Andrew Cuomo defended himself as the victim of America's cruel history of bigotry against Italian people who murder the elderly while also being sex predators.
"I'm being persecuted, and I'm sad to say this is nothing new," said Cuomo in a statement. "America has struggled with this kind of racism for a long time. We Italian guys have a long and proud culture of groping every single woman we encounter, and of killing thousands of seniors in nursing homes. It's just a part of our heritage, and too many people in this country are prejudiced against that. I really feel sorry for them. It's sad, really."
The Italian grandma-killing sex predator community has released a statement of solidarity with the governor.
"We celebrate Governor Cuomo having the courage to live his truth," said the Italian American Grandma-Killing Sex Predator Civil Liberties Union, or IAGKSPCLU. "We understand this is a difficult time for him, and we condemn in the strongest possible terms all forms of racism against his proud and noble ethnic heritage."
Chris Cuomo of CNN could not be reached for comment.