MEDITERRANEAN SEA — Greta Thunberg and other members of the latest humanitarian flotilla sailing to Gaza were subjected to unspeakable cruelty by the Israeli Defense Forces, who kidnapped them and then gave them dry sub sandwiches with no mayo to eat.
Sources said IDF soldiers forcibly boarded the boats, interrupting several drum circles just as they were really vibing. They then tortured the humanitarian heroes by giving them challah and turkey foot-longs without any condiments whatsoever.
"We are suffering greatly as we try to choke down these dry sandwiches the Jewish terrorists gave us," said Thunberg to Al Jazeera reporters. "They are difficult to swallow and quite bland. Several members of our crew have basically pretty much died from them. The cruelty of the IDF knows no bounds."
Eyewitnesses said the IDF also subjected the victims to regular lukewarm bottled water with no carbonation or yummy fruit flavoring.
"This is an egregious violation of international law," said Qatar UN delegate Jihad Mohammad al-Mohammed. "Israel must be stopped from torturing prisoners like this, and then we need to kill all the Jews so they can't do it again. This is basic human decency."
At publishing time, Greta Thunberg announced she was planning to launch a third flotilla, as the first two were very financially successful.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
