TOLEDO, OH — Local wife Aubrey Jackson reportedly left the house for 72 hours on a girls' weekend, cruelly abandoning her lonely, helpless husband.
News of the incident traveled quickly among the couple's friends and family, with several people expressing dismay that Jackson would be so heartless.
"I don't know where the keys to the car are. I don't know where my socks are. I don't know where the extra diapers are," Aubrey's husband, Joe Jackson, said. "I didn't realize how much stuff I depended on Audrey for, and she's gone. How could she do this to me?"
Audrey reportedly asked her husband if he could stop calling her after her phone rang for the 45th time in 10 minutes.
"I haven't done one of these trips in years," she said. "I left a lot of detailed instructions for Joe and for the kids, but I guess I should have been more specific."
Neighbors reported that the Jacksons' four kids could be seen playing in the front yard wearing an assortment of mismatched pajamas, church clothes, and Halloween costumes. Joe later explained to friends that he was unaware that his toddler girl owned anything other than a Frozen princess dress and a pair of snow boots.
At publishing time, Joe Jackson had been seen sadly playing his guitar while sitting on the front porch, looking longingly down the road for his wife's return.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
