ATLANTA, GA—In the interest of fairness in broadcasting, CNN has announced the cable news channel will give members of ISIS equal time to respond to President Trump's State of the Union address later this evening.
Several ISIS representatives will be allowed to give a full address responding to the president's remarks, criticizing him for his border security stance and debunking his claims on the need for a wall along the southern border of the country.
"Americans deserve to hear from every perspective, whether that's the bad orange man or these brave freedom fighters," said a CNN spokesperson. "We will give them a fair hearing and see what they have to say. We're confident it will be an informed and interesting perspective, unlike whatever drivel we hear from the orange man."
"Did we mention he is bad? He is bad," the spokesperson added.
ISIS has thanked CNN for the opportunity, calling the station "a true friend of democracy."
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.