CNN Employees Fired For Being Unvaccinated Wishing They'd Have Just Exposed Themselves On A Zoom Call Instead
Politics

ATLANTA, GA—CNN has fired three employees for not being vaccinated, and now the laid-off workers are wishing they had just exposed themselves on camera instead so they could have kept their jobs.

The three laid-off employees drank away their sorrows at a local bar, expressing their regrets for not getting vaccinated when they could have just Toobined themselves on a Zoom call with coworkers and kept their jobs.

"Man, if I'd only have pulled a Toobin on camera, I would have been fine!" lamented one of the laid-off journalists over a few beers. "I should have just, you know, watched my favorite comedian, Buddy Wackit. Or my favorite Little Rascal, Spanky, or my favorite baseball team, the Yankees. It all seems so clear in hindsight."

"Oh well. Maybe we'll get a job at NBC News and we can lock women in our offices like Matt Lauer instead of refusing the jab."

At publishing time, they'd also realized they could have just covered for their governor brother during a sex scandal as well.

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