OTTAWA — The status quo among America's red and blue states was shaken up last night, as with the election of Mark Carney, Canada officially surpassed California as the state with the most liberal governor.
Carney reportedly received a congratulatory call late last night from California Governor Gavin Newsom, who passed the crown of America's most liberal governor and wished him well on his future as the leader of the progressive state of Canada.
"We are honored to take the mantle from California," Carney said during his acceptance speech last night. "Nobody ever thought anyone could surpass California in the category of having a crazy Leftist governor, but with the help of millions of Canadian voters, we've done it. We will now move forward with our quest to be the bluest state in America and push back against Donald Trump's tyrannical presidency. He may be our president, but we don't have to agree with him."
Governor Newsom was gracious in admitting the end of his tenure. "All good things must eventually come to an end," he told reporters in a brief statement. "I've held the title for a long time, but with the election of Mark Carney, it's time for someone else to take the top spot as the most liberal governor in America. I wish him well, and I'll do my best to come up with some really insane stuff to do in the future to regain the crown. Maybe we'll just have to start helping people kill themselves, too."
At publishing time, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz had reportedly told his staff that he was committed to doing everything in his power to fend off Carney's challenge to his title of biggest weirdo to serve as governor of a U.S. state.
This freshman had a bright future ahead of her, but then her parents spent $250K to send her to a public university.
