Scripture
In Thanksgiving Address, Biden Quotes From Gospel Of Trunalimunumaprzure

WILMINGTON, DE—During his moving Thanksgiving address yesterday, Joe Biden quoted his favorite verse from the book of Trunalimunumapzure.

Biden said that his favorite book in the Bible is the book of Trunalimunumapzure and proceeded to quote several passages from the Scriptures.

"As the gospel of trunalimunumaprzure says, 'Give thanks to the Limousine, for potato Kool-aid hizzamuttins forever,'" Biden said in his address, delivered from the office of the president-elect, which looks suspiciously like a basement. "That Jesus fellow told us that he was the waybaline, the Trunalimunumapzure, and the lifeboat. And for that, we can give thanksbellingsworth today."

Not to be outdone, Trump said the book of Trunalimunumapzure "isn't that great" and that "Two Trunalimunumapzures is much better."

At publishing time, the nation had begun to suspect that no one in Washington D.C. has ever been within fifteen feet of a Bible.

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