WORLD - Defying numerous national, state, and local governments around the world, the Bible has continued to declare that churches are essential.

A lot of people have decided that meeting together isn't really essential and that we can just do online church indefinitely. These people care about health and SCIENCE and don't want you to die. But hateful, anti-SCIENCE sources like the Scriptures continue to insist that churches are essential, even though many governments still want them closed.

Among the problematic statements the Word of God has made are the following:

• "And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."
• "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
• "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers."
•  "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God."
• "For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."

"It's really troubling that the Bible thinks it has more authority than our executive orders," said one state governor. "We're gonna need to look into getting this thing banned until it can learn to respect my leadership. Do you even Romans 13, bro?"