LOS ANGELES, CA — Alyx Denton, a 6' 4" bearded man who enjoys dressing up in sparkly women's clothing, explained that "Trans Awareness Week" was absolutely necessary or else he might go totally unnoticed.
Without a week dedicated to promoting trans visibility, the gigantic dude in a neon dress worried that the nation might forget that there are people like him.
"We bearded men in high heels and shiny dresses have too long languished in the shadows, practically invisible," said Denton. "It's like, no one ever talks about us, or even realizes we exist. I walk down the street, twirling in my heels, and I don't think anyone even sees me. There is literally no group more marginalized and unseen than us."
According to sources, the government has struggled to figure out exactly how to make large men in dresses even more visible for the Awareness Week. "I really don't know how to draw more attention to them," said city councilman Benjamin Gill. "Maybe we could have a person walk in front of them banging cymbals, or shouting 'Behold' or something. It's a challenge, but solving problems like this is what government is all about."
At publishing time, the government had settled on arresting anyone who doesn't whisper "fabulous" upon seeing a dude in a dress walk by.
Congress is preparing to make some big changes!
