BROWNSVILLE, TX — Texas residents woke up Thursday morning to find general election ballot boxes had been placed along the southern border wall that divides parts of the U.S. from Mexico.
"I'm not sure where these ballot drop boxes came from," Brownsville resident Tom Walker told reporters. "Some around town think it has something to do with Presiden Biden's visit to the border. I saw some of his folks down handing out mail-in ballots to these illegal guys who keep coming into town. Makes a person wonder what's up."
Biden's team denied placing the boxes strategically along the border wall right where the main surge of illegal immigrants are crossing into the country.
"This isn't some crazy ploy to rig the election in favor of President Biden by handing out ballots to the millions of illegal aliens that have been streaming into the country over the past three years," Biden spokesperson Alexander Sheperd told the press. "On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know how to say ‘President Biden will give you a prepaid $10 thousand Visa cash card if you vote for him' in Spanish?"
As of publishing time, Biden aids were seen rounding up as many filled-out ballots as they could in an effort they said would "restore fair and free elections and prevent that fascist Trump from taking office ever again."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
