Health
Asking For Context Of Thirty Second Video Revealed To Be Racist Dog Whistle

U.S.—A new study revealed that anyone who watches a thirty-second video of a tragic incident on the internet then immediately asks what the larger context of the situation was is a vile racist deserving of the most horrendous death imaginable.

"It's simple," said leading researcher Daniel Thomas of the Garby Institute. "Your immediate reaction should be unhinged blood lust. You should call for the bad man in the video to be strung up in a desert, covered in fire ants, doused in battery acid, kicked repeatedly in the face, his flesh torn from his bones, fed to jackals, his corpse filled with rabid weasels and run over repeatedly with a cement truck. That is the proper response, no further inquiry is needed."

Research showed that questions like, "who are these guys?" and "Why was this happening in the first place?" and "what happened thirty seconds before this? Is there more video?" are clear signs of racist inquiry. 

Experts recommend immediately jumping to conclusions, rioting in the streets, and completely losing your ever-loving mind upon viewing any 30-second video of a tragic incident. 

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