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Andy Stanley Checks Himself Into Theological Rehab

ATLANTA, GA—After yet another “confusing at best” statement by popular preacher and author Andy Stanley, the pastor checked himself into a local theological rehab center Wednesday.

Stanley voluntarily enrolled in a six-month rehabilitation program at the clinic after reviewing several troubling comments he had made in the past few years. Arriving at the clinic as paparazzi swarmed his vehicle, Stanley stopped to say a few words before entering the building.

“After I watched that clip of myself saying we needed to unhitch the Old Testament from our faith, I suddenly realized I had a problem,” a somber Stanley said to the crowd gathered outside Atlanta’s Theological Treatment & Recovery Center. “I lied to myself. I told myself I could stop at anytime. But in reality, I was completely addicted to saying off-base things about the Christian faith. And everyone could see it but me.”

“I just ask that you’d allow me and my family the respect and privacy we need to get through this together. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers,” he added. Stanley appeared to be ready to give a longer speech, but his assistant reportedly cut him off before he could make any more questionable theological declarations.

The rehab center offers one of the top theological recovery programs in the state, according to its website, having treated thousands of pastors who “really go off the rails” theologically and need several months of therapy to recover.