NEW YORK, NY — All eyes have turned toward the New York mayoral primaries, as a new poll indicated that a second edition copy of The Communist Manifesto now holds a sizeable lead over other Democratic Party candidates.
Though incumbent Mayor Eric Adams and former Governor Andrew Cuomo have maintained their share of support, the second edition of The Communist Manifesto surged in popularity due to how closely it matches the values and ideals held by a vast majority of Democratic Party voters.
"It says all the right things," said one Democratic voter after casting her ballot for the manifesto. "We have always leaned toward the more progressive candidates, but nothing comes close to how far this manifesto is willing to go. The more I read what it says, the more I want this document to be the leader of New York City. Let's stop beating around the bush with these other candidates and go straight to the source of our party's platform."
A spokesperson for The Communist Manifesto welcomed the growing support. "This is the candidate that best represents New York Democrats," said the campaign's press secretary. "The second edition of The Communist Manifesto has been standing up and promoting the thoughts and views of Democrats for years, so it's only right for it to take its rightful place as mayor of New York City."
At publishing time, analysts were projecting the second edition of The Communist Manifesto to secure the party's nomination for the general election and coast to an easy victory in the general election before furthering the city's descent into third-world ruin.
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